Sunflower Photo by Sixteen Miles Out On Upsplash
Happy New Year!!! 🎉
I’ve tried to write an interesting and captivating post to start the year off on the right foot, but the truth is, I’m in the thick of it and find it hard to write when I have yet to reach the other side…
The Beauty of Pain
This current season of pain has taken me by surprise. It is forcing me to live out my holy ambition:
“I exist to encourage and uplift the weary, and to live a life of worship, whether in or out of pain.”
Which sounds lovely when I focus on the words “encouragement” / “uplift” / worship” – but not so much when the loudest word at the moment is “PAIN!” I would never choose this for myself, but I can see how God is using pain to refine me:
Pain is an opportunity to have a closer / deeper / stronger walk with God. It is an invitation for me to experience the joy of intimate friendship with Jesus, and the true power of fervent prayer, in a way I would never know without suffering.
The Battle of Pain
But this does not just happen! It takes work / dedication / sacrifice – it is something I have to pursue. The fight to stay focused on things above often feels like a minute to minute attack. Time has taught me that my personal battles are best fought on my knees, with an open bible, and a heart willing to listen and change. In this state of humility, is when the Holy Spirit speaks and reminds me what I am called to meditate on:
“Whatever is true,
Whatever is honorable,
Whatever is just,
Whatever is lovely,
Whatever is commendable,
If there is any excellence,
If there is anything worthy of praise,
Think about these things.”
– Philippians 4:8
I love these notes about this passage from the Beyond Suffering Bible by Joni Earekson Tata:
- “It is natural to feel anxious when we are in pain or to feel helpless while a loved one struggles. So what can we do about our anxiety and worry? Paul understood the human tendency to let our thoughts spiral downward as we focus on the negative. He urges us to focus our minds on things with eternal value and release our worry through prayer, which leads us into deeper spiritual territory where God can transform us.”
And also:
- “There is something intriguing about an individual who can maintain joy despite arduous circumstances.”
THIS is who I want to be in 2022 – regardless of pain! I want to stand in “deeper spiritual territory,” “transformed” and JOYFUL “despite arduous circumstances!” And how will I pursue this?? By thinking / dwelling / meditating on these things, and blocking out the noise of anything that pulls me away from God. I am becoming more aware of how the daily diet of my mind affects me. Especially when in pain, I have to be very careful about what I consume! I thought I would share with you some sources that are helping me stay focused today on what is:
True
Honorable
Just
Pure
Lovely
Commendable
Excellent
Worthy of Praise
May we Think / Dwell / Meditate on these things…
[ What I am Reading ]
- Beyond Suffering Bible
- Morning & Evening / Daily Readings by C.H. Spurgeon
- Perfectly Human: 9 Months with Cerian
- She Can Laugh At The Days To Come
- Streams In The Desert
[ What I’m Writing ]
- Medical Timeline 2010-2011 (Specifically Bella’s Birth to Transplant – this is a difficult and emotional task – medical record from this year is 1,500 pages long!)
- Storytime Post – (Follow-up to Bella’s Baby Blanket – the story behind the photo below – will include another mother / daughter video as well 🙂
[ What I’m Listening To ]
This one is really special to me because it is the kind of playlist where I never have songs I always skip. Its like whatever song is on, I can say, “that’s my jam!” 🎵 This music has been the soundtrack to my worship this month, I hope you enjoy and can worship along with me 💗
Great post Crystal. My heart hurts that you are in such daily pain. Praying for you continually. 🙏🏻 Looking forward to listening to “your jam”
Thank you, Mama ❤️ You are such an encouragement to me and the best friend ever, thank you!!!
Wow – I’m so glad God has a plan and it is good and perfect as He is – praying always for you and us all as we suffer in one way or another – …..have to careful what I consume .” -Amen 🤓
Thank you, Dad ❤️ And you are so right. I almost wrote, “pain, of any kind!” And yes I have learned the hard way to be careful what I consume. Trying to memorize and recite this when my mind wants to go down the rabbit hole of despair!
True
Honorable
Just
Pure
Lovely
Commendable
Excellent
Worthy of Praise
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement ❤️ It’s a beautiful thing that we can learn from each other 🙏
Crystal, you are forever a living testimony to faithfulness in the midst of trial. I think of you and pray for you often. I even used you as an example and shared how much you encourage my heart the other night in our ladies Bible study. Your words here are exactly what we were talking about, so I will share this as well. You are beautiful inside and out. I pray that God will relieve some of what is most difficult for you in these days. Would love to catch up with you and your mom sometime soon. Love you all! Always close at heart.
Ohhhh God bless you, Kristi! 🥺 Your words of encouragement and your faithful prayers mean more to me than I could ever say ❤️ You and your family are such a blessing! We love & miss you all so much – you are always on our hearts and in our prayers as well 🙏 Hopefully we can reunite & have a proper catch-up soon! 🥰🙏❤️
Day 2 of listening to Holy Ambition playlist during my workday… Needed it yesterday, need it today, and I am sure I will need it tomorrow! Thanks so much for sharing these Sister! I know it is no simple task to put together all those platforms, but it is so appreciated ❤
So many memories of the years attached to many of these songs… of pain and trial but also of God’s faithfulness and provision!!!
“So I throw up my hands
And praise You again and again
‘Cause all that I have is a
Hallelujah, hallelujah”
Gratitude is one of my current favorites… so glad it is on this list ❤
Love you forever and ever!!!
“So come on my soul,
Oh don’t you get shy on me,
Lift up your song,
For you’ve got a lion
Inside of those lungs,
Get up and praise the Lord!” 🙌❤️😭
Ohhhh Mary! This is one of my faves too ❤️ Thank you so much for sharing and I am sooooo glad you are loving this playlist as much as I do 😍🙏🎶 it is well worth the work to know it is blessing you ❤️ I love you and am so thankful for you 😘
Such an inspiring post, Crystal. Thank you for the reminder to train our thoughts towards His positive attributes and come in prayer. It’s so easy to focus on the negative, what’s hard, painful. Finding the joy in it is something I long for too! You sent me a song long ago, something about praising through the storm. YES! Love you.
Thank you so much, Rebecca 💗 And I forgot about that song! One of my all-time favorites: “Praise You in this storm” by Casting Crowns – I’ll have to add it to the next playlist 🎶 Love you & miss you – thank you for your encouragement & constant prayers. Praying for you the same 🙏