“See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.”
– Ephesians 5:15-17
The delicate leaves of our maple tree are changing color; quietly announcing fall is here and time is rapidly passing! “Redeeming the time…” this phrase has been ringing in my ears – powerful and convicting. Watching the seasons change this year feels like a necessary rebirth. As the hustle and bustle of pandemic life continues, I’ve been stuck in survival mode. Perhaps you have been too. Am I walking circumspectly? Am I redeeming the time? If I take a good look into the mirror of my soul, I have to admit, I’m discouraged! Most days I am running in circles – exhausted / distressed / overwhelmed – and downright disappointed in myself for barely being about to tread water! Instead I’m swimming upstream against the pull of my own selfish desires, my fragile physical health, and the constant opposition of this raging spiritual battle all around us. However, I’ve been showing up anyway; imperfect but available. He is forever faithful and is whispering to me through His word…
Lord, how do You want me to spend the time I have left? His answer to the constant questioning of my restless heart is this: Holy Ambition!
I recently stumbled upon this video of John Piper and it really spoke to me.
(It is short and well worth the 3 minutes to watch.)
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What is my Holy Ambition?
WOW! He really said it all here! This truly knocked me off my seat and was exactly what I needed to jolt me into warrior stance again! I’ve been praying about this for months, hoping for something grand, some big beautiful piece of the puzzle I’ve been missing. But I’m realizing I’ve known all along:
“I exist to encourage and uplift the weary,
and to live a life of worship, whether in or out of pain.”
He is still working on my heart and teaching me what this means for today and for my future. But first and foremost, I know that being a wife and mother is my primary ministry. (God bless my Mama for teaching me this by her lifelong example!) This is a humble but mighty call to be a servant, day in day out. But am I walking circumspectly in this ministry?
Circumspect / Adjective : accurately or precisely with great care : careful to consider all circumstances and possible consequences : wary and unwilling to take risks
This word is one I have never really considered until now. Turning 40 has forced me to face the reality that there isn’t time for all the things I want to accomplish. Even if they are good things, not all of them are meant for me, especially if they interfere with my primary ministry. Therefore, I have to pursue the daily wisdom needed to stand up and walk away from any noise that pulls me away from God’s holy ambition and unique plan for my life.
The Danger of Coasting
Its humbling to realize how much of my life I have spent coasting. To be honest, I WANT TO COAST! Yes, I want to fulfill my purpose, but I also selfishly want to find that sweet spot in cruise control, where I can experience as little turbulence as possible until I arrive at heaven’s gate! Sign me up for that! I’ve been sick and in pain for 25+ years and the thought of never being “comfortable” in this life is a difficult pill to swallow (pun intended!) But I know God wants more for me (and you) than physical comfort today. He knows the glory that is coming tomorrow, if we deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Him. When I surrender the pleasurable thought of coasting my way through life, I am reminded of the miracles that have unfolded right in front of my eyes. He has given me this time, He has been preparing me for this holy ambition and He knew exactly what it would take to bring me to this moment in time of humble acceptance.
The Beauty of God’s Timing
I often tell my daughter, “God has work for you to do, that only YOU can do!” (Then I have to turn around and tell that to myself as well!) I look at this weary world and I am honestly afraid of what God may ask me to go through in the future. However, He quiets that fear by reminding me He will ALWAYS do the work! He will ALWAYS show up! He will ALWAYS keep His promises and He will ALWAYS equip me for what He has called me to do. All I have to do is to show up, armor up (Ephesians 6:10-18) and be faithful; regardless of my emotions and despite the obstacles waiting around every corner. He will light the fire in my heart for the holy ambition He has given me. He is making all things beautiful in His time and He will be the light that guides our weary feet home.
Lord, please redeem the time! Thank You for Your patience / Your mercy / Your persistence to get our full attention. You know the aching of our hearts. You are the only One who can give comfort that truly satisfies. You are our hope / our joy / our peace in these dark days. We rejoice that today we are closer to heaven than we’ve ever been. We know the suffering of this life cannot compare with the light of Your glory in the next. We offer up all we are to You – help us surrender whatever is holding us back from Your service. May we hear Your whisper and accept Your call for our lives. Humble / prepare / equip us with Your perfect love so we can accomplish the labor of the day.
In Jesus’ beautiful name, Amen!
Crystal, I have been thinking along the same lines! Thank you for this post; I needed to be prodded today. Lol. I love your purpose and can testify that you have been fulfilling that always in our relationship and I thank and love you for that. 🙂 Coasting and being comfortable in this world is not an option anymore. Only a clear purpose from God in these times will keep up focused on what is truly important and eternal and the role we are to fulfill. I pray for the courage to listen and obey!
Oh Rebecca, thank you so so much for sharing! Your words have encouraged me so much today – this was such a difficult post to write, opposition on every side! But hearing this confirmation from you gives me strength to keep going. So glad this spoke to you and to hear God has been whispering the same things to you. I love you and I’m always praying for you!
I identify myself in the same situations during pandemic time to survive and forget our holy ambition. Being a wife, mother and as grandparent can be plenty in ministry. A constant battle to avoid physical temptations. Thank you for sharing the whisper and word. Will strive toward your keywords of redeeming the time, holy ambition and to leave your mark from this article. Indeed, God has a way to reach everyone of us. Definitely you were call to write and to reach out to us. Hope you and your family are well. Enjoy seeing your family on Instagram.
Oh Anna! Thank you so much for sharing! This pandemic has been SO hard! I deeply admire your ministry of being a wife / mother / grandmother. I thank God for you and all the ways you have encouraged and supported me. Thank you and know I’m thinking of you and praying for you and your family!
Right on again Crystal pie – this spoke to me thanks – you are a jewel of God’s making and He is using you to help us all . Keep on keeping on 😎
Thank you, Daddy 😭 I’m going to save this in my journal as it’s probably the nicest thing anyone has said about me. This blog is making me appreciate all the hard work you put in preparing, week after week, year after year, decade after decade! Thank you for your faithful teaching – I continue to be inspired by your holy ambition of preaching & proclaiming the truth.
Beautifully written, and a powerful reminder!
Thank you, Becky ❤️ I appreciate your encouragement and support so much!
Man… I sure want to be a “coaster” but you are so right that is the enemy talking every time! How can I allow him to take away the mission that God has given to ME and only me?!? Thank you again for sharing your conviction ❤ Time to armor up and fight the fight!!!
Thank you so much for reading and sharing – I feel exactly the same way! Trying to armor uo every day and not let the enemy win the day! Praying for you today 🙏 I am so thankful for all your love and support ❤️